" But, sadly, a few months later, your conversation changed to, "I can't believe he turned out to be so emotionally unavailable, and commitment-phobic." There are people who chronically meet and date individuals who, at first, seem so perfect for a warm, loving relationship. it's so easy to become intoxicated during that early infatuation stage when you meet someone who fits your pictures and seems like the perfect match. Our deep love for them can put us in denial of the fact that they are unavailable for an intimate, close relationship with us.But when those same "in love" people take off their rose colored glasses, they realize the person they thought was Mr. ("He's so good-looking," or "What a gorgeous woman! If a person is serious about finding an emotionally available person for a committed partnership, there are whole categories of people who should be avoided: people living in another state, those who are still married or in love with someone else, and people with addictions - be it workaholics or drug addicts.The "booby prize" in life is trying to understand or change the behavior of an emotionally unavailable person.(Only they can change themselves.) People can be for both healthy and unhealthy reasons. Your guy wants sex to be great for the both of you, and it's very helpful to talk about things (what works for you, what doesn't).
Ironically, most emotionally unavailable people are easy to spot, quite transparent, showing you their true colors, right from the beginning.And then there are the women in their mid-twenties or later who are still very inexperienced (more on that later on).