If you are a dude sending a message to a cool chic, get it into your head, you are not the only one. ’ or ‘I think I who your favourite actor is,’ work great.Her inbox is most likely littered with boring messages like yours unless you do something about it. Think beyond your comfort zone be intriguing, coax her into letting you in and reacting to your first email.It absolutely got me to write back.” —Kim Newman, San Diego, CA Love lesson: The number-one challenge in online dating is standing out from the crowd somehow (in a good way, of course).Everyone is intrigued by a person who’s had an unusual experience—it makes for more surprising small talk and anecdotes they can remember—so don’t hesitate to mention your huge collection of cheesy salt shakers, your speed-walking trophy, the fact that you grew up on a commune or anything else that may make someone just curious enough to write back and find out more.Remember, that’s why she wrote it – because she wants you to get to know her, not because she wants to be told for the umpteenth time that she’s hot. NOT the thing you like the most, NOT the thing you find most attractive, NOT the thing you have in common. It might be how she doesn’t know how to program her Ti Vo. Yes, you think it’s cool that she also likes Robert De Niro movies and skiing in Vail. The sillier and more over-the-top your email, the funnier it’ll be.Men who treat women as unique and interesting individuals stand a much greater shot of receiving a response. The most interesting tidbit in her profile is the thing that sounds like it couldn’t have been written by anybody else in the world. Whatever it is, take her quirky tidbit and turn it into your pickup line. The most effective way to catch someone’s attention in an initial email is with fiction. Because the truth, as we’ve established, is boring. But does any of that sound like a good pickup line to you? A good joke doesn’t require an explanation – it’s obviously a joke.The thing is, even if she’s interesting, she most likely wrote a whole bunch of clichés in her profile: “I’m nice, smart, kind, warm, funny, honest and family-oriented. I’m looking for my best friend, lover and partner in crime for a lifetime of love and laughter.” (Scary how easy it is to approximate the typical online dating profile, isn’t it? Even a specific response like “I noticed you enjoy biking. For example, if you’re writing to the foot model, you might say: Let’s drink to our fashion careers, Evan Sure, it’s a little goofy, but people actually respond to this stuff. Because it’s different, it’s audacious and, in a strange way, it’s kind of smart. It’s not an idle compliment or a generic, “Ooh, look what we have in common” line. Start your comment in the subject heading of the email, like this… Talk to you soon, Evan If these kinds of emails don’t work for you, no problem. Just keep in mind that the confidence it takes to write an email like that is compelling.
“The formula for writing the first email is very easy: Take one thing out of the person’s profile and say you noticed it,” says Liz Kelly, dating coach and author of .
Because most of the emails are horribly written or the guy sending it has a lousy profile. Chances are you would select the purple cow simply because it’s the only one that stood out.
Now let’s take a look at how this relates to online dating.
Case history: “What works for me is when a guy mentions something unexpected, because it makes me totally curious and shows that he’s got more going on than a 9-to-5 job.
One guy mentioned that he’d traveled the world, and since that’s always been a dream of mine, I had to hear all about it.
After all, most people’s profiles don’t exactly give you a ton of material to work with, do they? Ask yourself if what you’re writing sounds completely original.